• boys in fights: i hate you, man, fuck you.
• girls in fights: your eyes are uneven and you're fat and you're an attention whore and you're dumb and i bet the only reason you have good grades is because you sleep with your teachers. also, i had sex with your boyfriend. and also I deleted you off facebook and unfollowed you and I hope you live alone for the rest of your life and even your cats run away from you. p.s your mom is sleeping with her yoga teacher. bye, cunt.

• friend: 10 people have asked to be my valentine
• me: sometimes i meow at cats and they meow back

s-u-b-s-t-a-n-c-e: